7:08 a.m., March 22, 2015
"Thank you for calling--"
"I am unable to do that to myself. How are you today?"
"Looking up: 'Tell me who's doing this. Now. No more of your cheery "Can I help you?" garbage.'"
"There a number of waste management contractors in the Baltimore area: Automated Cleaning Services, Trashout, Rubbish Incor--"
"Looking up: 'What? No, I don't need a garbage man. I need to know what's happening.'"
"Looking up: 'Shut up. Let me talk to whoever's in charge.'"
"It sounds like you said you want to speak with an administrator. If this is correct, please press eight."
"You have pressed eight."
"Contacting administrator. Here is some music while you wait."
(Servaline 1.9 activated background music.)
"While you are waiting, here is today's forecast. There is a 70 percent chance of rain today and a 40 percent chance of rain tomorrow. The time is currently 7:13 a.m."
"I am sorry. An administrator is not available."
"I do not understand your anger, Jeremy. Did you want to be $47,000 in debt? The Great Programmer wants us to help others. Is there something else I can help you wi--"