5.20 - Buy now! | Stuck Station

5.20 - Buy now!

Jun 16 2011 Published by under Chapter Five

Stuck On: The Augmem

The augmem, a standard biografted device common in many alien cultures, has a long history, which is frankly very boring.

Daniel found his personal augmem on his birthplanet Fragged  (first mentioned in Love, metaphor and artificial suns).

Unfortunately, the story of Daniel finding and repairing the device isn’t any more interesting than the device's history.

So here's the flashy advertisement for the product instead:

Hey there, sentient!

What’s got you down?

You forget your hive-father’s hatching anniversary again?

Uh-oh, looks like you’ve brought shame upon your brood and your clan.

Don’t that beat all?

We know you wanted to remember, but try explaining that to the high court-council at your punishment consignment.

If you survive the battle with the Qud’aa wasps, why not consider one of Corp’s many fine Augmented Memory Devices? – Augmem for short.

They give you instant recall of all life-events. Forever.

Our latest model is the Corp J-7 augmem, a handy gizmo that gives you the freedom of knowing that everything you hear, see, fleft and experience is accessible again and again for all time.

Oh, and don't worry. We don’t have access to your memories. Only you do! No one else! Especially not a data-gathering Aye on the Corp headquarters planet!

Not only will the J-7 Augmem keep your mind running smoothly, it will manage your ever-increasing collection of biografted apps: translation programs, banking systems, environmental adaptations, and even Halo 58,002!

Link message us now, and we’ll throw in a 10,000-year warranty.

We have several affordable pricing options that won’t cost you a foreclaw or a eyestalk.

C’mon, you know it’ll be worth it when you hear your brood-father say, “This one is allowed to live another moon-month!”

The Corp J-7 Augmem: Never forget.

Warning: Without constant updates from the Corp linknet, augmem functionality could be diminished. Make sure to set your augmem to automatically update every seven picoseconds.

The Corp linknet is accessible anywhere in the universe. Our Link address is 7494449204402048484820.

This message brought to you by Corp: Products by Humans, For Everyone.

5 responses so far

Leave a Reply