Frequently Asked Questions
How does the Berton Freeze-It-All Stasis Chamber work?
It freezes time.
Really?
No.
Like most stasis chambers, it creates a powerful, localized gravitational field. The chamber sheds the force of that field, while, at the same time, imposing the resulting time dilation on the chamber user.
If the chamber didn’t shed the gravitational force, the being inside would be crushed into a ball the size of an atom.
However, since it does shed that force, the being experiences the universe at .000000001 percent of its normal speed.
The chamber is perfect for “sleeping” through long voyages or “sleeping” through a never-ending instructional virtual.
Where does that shed gravitational force go?
Don’t ask. I didn’t build it.
You don’t know how it works?
No. And I don’t care.
Why do some people call it a “cryo” when it doesn’t use cryonics, the low-temperature preservation of organic things?
Some types of stasis chambers still use that ancient method of freezing the user and then reviving them. This one doesn’t.
Why are you trying to get fired?
I hate this job. I want to be a pilot. Making virtuals is stupid.
That’s a good idea. You are obviously intelligent, talented, and underappreciated.
Yes. Yes, I am.
Is this is a joke?
No.
Is it time for your song about the company’s board of directors, where you compare their individual smells to smells of different rodents and rodent-like creatures?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Excerpt ends.
lol nice