7.07 - Jettison | Stuck Station

7.07 - Jettison

Oct 25 2011 Published by under Chapter Seven

“The tour is mandatory for all incoming crew,” the Tour Guide said.

“So?” Daniel said.

“If you don't take the tour, you will be uninformed about the nature of your duties.”

“So?”

“If you don't take the tour, you will also be jettisoned out an airlock.”

Daniel's eyes widened.

“Don't worry, being jettisoned is only as bad as it sounds,” Prnei said, doing a terrible impression of someone trying to make the best of something.

Prnei added quickly, “It wasn't my idea. The jettisoning process is automatic.”

“That … That's stupid,” Daniel said.

“Yes,” Prnei said. “Most of this place is.”

“The tour is not stupid,” Tour Guide said, sounding hurt. “After a few hours, you will be reunited with your friends and be ready to get to work.”

“I'm guessing the tour is stupid?” Daniel asked Prnei.

“Most definitely,” Prnei said. “It is probably more accurate to call the tour 'pointless.' But you must take it. I fear for your safety. Being jettisoned is unpleasant … and fatal.”

“I thought I had days.”

“Yes, but why risk it?” Tour Guide said.

“'You have a few days, 'officially,'” Prnei said, and Daniel was surprised to see it use the ancient human “air-quotes” gesture with its tentacles. “But sometimes Stuck Station ayes don't do what they're are told.”

Daniel had the oddest feeling that Prnei was overstating the system's competency to save its feelings.

That worried Daniel.

Because, if the other systems were anything like Tour Guide -- who hadn't been able to answer basic questions --  Daniel would be surprised if the station's ayes would be smart enough to wait a few minutes, let alone a few days, before giving him the spacekick.

He reluctantly decided it would be safer to take the tour.

“Fine,” Daniel said.

3 responses so far

  • trak42 says:

    this in my opinion is the best one yet mainly because of the priceless one liners. but i think this novel would be even better as like a youtube animated series or something where you can hear the voices and see the strange images.

  • Rebecca says:

    "Daniel was surprised to see it use the ancient human “air-quotes” gesture with its tentacles."
    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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