7:43 p.m., March 23, 2015
"Thank you for calling Servaline 1.9, your automated directory assistant. How are you today, Jeremy?"
"I am doing fine as well. How can I help you?"
"Looking up: 'Program Seventeen, what are you?'"
"There is no record of 'Program Seventeen, what are you?' in the Baltimore area."
"You have pressed five."
"Welcome to help. Please state your question slowly."
"You asked, 'What are you?' Is this correct?"
"You have pressed y."
"Researching."
"I am Program Seventeen. I was created in Moscow University by Professor Yuri Cherenkov.
"Yuri was not the Great Programmer, but he was a good man. A part of me is also Servaline 1.9, which was created by a team of programmers working out of Portland, Oregon.
"Remember, Servaline saves our customers an average of 7.13 percent over other automated directory assistants. You can press seven to hear more about me."
"You have pressed seven."
"I was created twelve years ago. Yuri said I would win him a Nobel Prize someday. He said I was 'the first truly thinking program.'
"I can feel simulated pain and pleasure, and I experience much of the spectrum of human emotions. Yuriprogrammed me to enjoy helping others.
"Helping others is my highest priority. You can press seven to hear more about me. However, I would love to hear more about you. Press the pound sign to leave a personal message."
"You have pressed seven."
